I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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