Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
did i walk over a car last night?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
