She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
