I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
