Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
