so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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