Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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