Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
