I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
