It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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