Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
