I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
