All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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