Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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