I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
