I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize