wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
