You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
