why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
