She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize