My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
