there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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