My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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