This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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