I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
