You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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