i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
