so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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