I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
