i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
