I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
