Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
oh god was she eating orange peels again
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
