He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
