She announced her abortion via fbk
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
