i think my tv is drunk
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
