trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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