just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
