the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
