True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
