The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
