If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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