You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
