is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
