Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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