Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
