i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
