Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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