I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize