carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
