I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
