I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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