Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize