I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
