Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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