Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
