If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize