3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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