Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
