do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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