I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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