You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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