Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
